Friday, September 23, 2005

I Have A Big Sword

You may have noticed my absence for a short while. Women troubles.

The sorry story starts with me trying to curry more favour with the pointy ears. This led me to an obscure part of the Nightsong woods where I hooked up with this nice filly. I have always been species curious and so we hung out for a bit. She said she liked my two hander.

I always knew it was a casual thing and wasn't going to last. I mean she wears legwarmers even in public. She doesn't smile much either. Anyway it came as no surprise when she mentions her "stallion" is in town and it needs to cool down a bit between us.

I made a run over to the Stonetalon Mountains to have a chat and lo and behold his horns were bigger than my sword and so we mutually agreed that my short stint as her jockey were over.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Short Order Cook

I think from reading my previous entries you might think I am an uncultured uncouth kind of gnome. Well this will change your mind. I, Gimblesniff, the greatest warrior in the WORLD has gone elfosexual.

Elfosexual? What is elfosexual you say!? Well it means you pass your time doing meaningless selfish tasks while composing uplifting drivelly poetry.

While standing in the waters mellow
Around me floats a slick of yellow
The fish love nibbling at my toes
And then I stomp their heads in

The measure of my culinary skill
is matched only by my lust to kill

After a hard day stamping on fishes
and cooking up delicious dishes
I love to go to the gay dwarf Blure
and have a full body pedicure

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Gnome Is Where The Heart Is

The pressure, the pressure. Being this ridiculously good looking and the greatest warrior in the WORLD just wears me out sometimes. While sleep is for the weak they say, lack of it also stunts your growth. It was cold hunting in Darkshore today so I decided to pull the old warrior trick of slitting open the guts of a kill and crawling inside where it was warm and moist and meaty ..mmmmmmm

Some people just sleep anywhere. Druids will just flop down and pack those Zzzzs in. I enjoyed lightly brushing this one's ears as he slept to watch him twitch and squirm. When he started mumbling "Don't touch me there mother" I beat a hasty retreat.

Oh and I must congratulate myself on my reputation with the pointy ears. I know night elves that aren't as well liked by their own race.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Honey I'm Gnome!

Being the Greatest Warrior In The WORLD can be lonely. Women are intimidated by the screams and sounds of rending at my approach (or maybe the thought of washing the blood and guts out of my under garments) tends to keep them at a distance. I have, however, struck up a casual(open) relationship with the local barmaid.

Progress today was a little slow being a Sunday and all I chose to do a bit of a Sunday run down to Maestra's Post and Astranaar. Obtained a new shield that looks more like a kite than a man's weapon, but the pointy ears are funny like that, trying to make the deadly look as pretty as possible.

Made a little friend in the forest while I was hunting for some pathetic love lorn elf's dead missus's ghost. He shared his nuts and we had a nice conversation...

...then I cooked and ate him. Quite a delicious change from the rotting bear carcasses.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Hard Day At The Office

The day started ou with me looking like this. But didn't stay looking like that for long. Gloomy Darkshore with the occassional quick trip to Darnassus was my playground as I carved a swathe of blood and guts through the locals and wildlife.

The pointy ears are quite blood thirsty and not a little bit bent.

This guy had me a bit worried. I should have known there was something a bit strange going on when he asked me to fetch earrings! I got the hell out of there when he asked me if I liked watching gladiator movies.

Then I caught crabs

Tomorrow will be a big day. I will have improved my reputation with the pointy ears to the next level. That giant pussy will be MINE!

Friday, September 09, 2005

Enter the Gnome

Every great leader in history has recorded their rise to greatness (or the really really stupid ones have had minions record it for them) and this is my journal of exploits.

To introduce myself, I am Gimblesniff. The greatest warrior in the WORLD. Alchemist and herbalist.

My current abode is the Night Elf lands to curry favour with the Darnasus faction. I do wish one day to ride one of their feline mounts and starting young greasing up to the pointy ears is the best way to do it. Mind you they are fairly peaceful and leave me to carve my trail of destruction through their flowers and fluffy bunnies.

In my quest for warrior greatness I have completed my first warrior quest and had for a moment an Elurian Sword. Thing is I found better in my backpack, waste of effort, but demonstrated to my warrior brethren my commitment to completing any menial task set.

My plan is to write daily of my escapades and achievements. So keep dropping back. I will be including bloody pictures of my conquests as well.